20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

At this moment i have a déjà vu and a loss of memory at the same time. I thin I have forgotten this before.
Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

Birdy birdy in the sky, left a poopie in my eye. Me don't care, me don't cry, me just happy that a cow can't fly!!

Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your mobile....still searching.......no brains found.

Did I not see you yesterday at the mall, with a grey jacket? No? O, than it was a rubbish bag after all! .

Do not disturb, I am enough disturbed as it is . . .
Don't feel sad, don't feel glue, Einstein was ugly too !

man pays $.2,00 for a $.1,00 item that he needs, a woman pays $.1,00 for $.2,00 item that she does not need.

Excessive use of alcohol can lead to a pregnancy.

For you I would go as far as the end of the world. Do you promise to stay here ?"

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket, want the smell is unbearable!!!

Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.

How would you like your egg for breakfast.... hard-boiled or impregnated?
I am a killer,I kill people for money.....But because you are my friend,I'll kill you for nothing!

I am not stupid, I am blond!!! B - L - O - N - T
I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
If you have picture where you look old, keep them. In twenty years you can prove that you have not changed a bit.
If you really ressemble the picture on your ID, you are not fit enough to travel.
Ik would like to be a volcano... smoke all day and people say ... look he is working!

It is charming, incredibly handsome, extremely good, well shaped, horny,an animal in bed and it knows one French word ... MOI!!

Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

Mobile sex: push 1 for oral, 2 for anal, 3 for normal, 4 for a trio, 5 for SM and for everything ... dial my number!

My feelings for you are like the sea. " Wild and romantic ? " "No, they make me sick."
My mother in law walks five miles every day, I wonder where she is at this moment...
Nice perfume... but do you really need to marinate in it?

One out of four people is a chinese. If your father, your mother and your brother are not Chinese, it must be you.

Opticians bend your the rims/frames of your glasses for they are too polite to say that your ears are in the wrong place.

Read in a hospital... The psychiatrist may nog be disturbed
roses are red, violets are blue, frankenstein is ugly but what the hell happened to you????
roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't...

The more I learn the more I get to know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, so why should I be learning??

The one who digs a hole for someone else, is sweating blood !

This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!

This is your boss: "You are allowed to read the newspaper during the working hours and do certainly not miss the job adds."

We cannot grant you a life insurance policy because you are already 102 years old. "I do not understand. It is proven statistically that at that age only few people die."
We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!
What he want, I do not want ... What I want, he does not want ... What we want, is not allowed!

When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!

You are an unwanted child. Your parents paid the medical expenses for your birth with their accident insurance.

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